I am

Today, I am happy to find myself,
to fall in love with me,
to let go the things which are not in my control ..

Today, I am happy to find a new life,
to learn from my mistakes,
to know what I want ..

Today, I am happy to rejuvenate myself
to be free,
to know real meaning of life,
to be myself ..

Today, I am happy to know I am alive
for something which is greater than me
to know the value of something
which is assigned because of me ..

I wish there was love for everyone!

I wish there was love for everyone

Handing a pink candy floss
To a small kid,
Watching him smile
With the chuckles and hiss ..

Handing a blue box
With ribbons and balloons,
To a woman
Who is beautiful and cute.
Opening the box
She looked a bit surprized,
Watching a diamond
Which twinkled in her eye

She wipes her tears
Which are symbol of her joy
Celebrating happiness and love
In a warm embrace of boy

I wish there was love for everyone
I wish there was love for everyone

Sitting on a bench,
Was an old man.
With the wrinkles, worried look
And grimness in his eyes

Getting close to him
I realised
He was missing his son
Whom he was never able to say "good bye"

He resides,
Miles and miles away.
Having very little time,
To greet his old man.

I made a call to him,
Asking him "why"
He said "I miss him very much"
And would like to say a quick "hi"

Speaking to the son,
The old man rejoiced.
Looking at him,
I could see the joy.

Question reached my mind,
Is it how it feels?
To be touched by
Your loved ones.

I wish there was love for everyone,
I wish there was love for everyone!

I have a pink ball,
Made of happiness, joy and love.
I keep giving it all along,
Expecting it to return.

It made me happy,
Gave me hope and faith.
I always felt
It will be all mine someday

Years passed,
And so did decades.
I kept passing the ball

Felt it is enriching the world,
Someday it will return

Everyone says,
What you give is what you get
So I always hoped,
For the ball to return

Wait is long
But, I am holding on
As I know it would be soon
When my life would be filled with love too

I wish there was love for everyone ,
I wish there was love for everyone!

Is there a value to happiness?

I was on a road trip to a pilgrim destination, well known for its magical powers and providing a spiritual experience. We were to cover 500 km in a day and stand in a queue for 4-5 hours to get deity's blessings. 

On a practical note, the thought sounds exasperating and one would hope it to be tiring as well but, surprisingly, nature had its own plan to sync with ours. On our way to reach the place, I made a promise to myself to do things differently just to cherish a beautiful memory and know if I can survive without a clear plan and making choices which normally I wouldn't. 

I decided to eat at a place which served cuisines which I never had. To my astonishment, they were utter delight. 

I was fortunate to experience a road which had nature's majority of flavors - Ghats, rocky mountains, dark clouds, lightning,fog, trees, country men, solace, quietness and all this made me experience the one thing which my posh apartment overlooking the highway and city's one of the most happening places couldn't give me - Clarity. I was happy to find it within me. As the famous authors and stalwarts of Spirituality preach, whatever you need is all within you.

Reaching there with the country side view, standing in a queue for 4 hours felt like it just disappeared within moments. I wasn't tired, bored or even thought to quit cos I was at peace. I knew that life was with me, it felt well-paced and as if every second was moving with me. 

The whole experience - drive, food, place, silence and solitude made me realize that I was indeed happy and I could never quantify it. I realized majority of the things which make us happy are free in this world like a kid's smile, bird's chirping, squirrel's eating, planting trees. Our happiness is not associated with the materialistic things like buying a car, house, having a relationship, getting married, better pay, new job etc etc.  but, we mistake it to be cos the world is doing it so, there would be something right about it. Trust me, you have to write your own story with your own words and be your own author. At the end of the day, it is us who we are answerable to. We think that there is always something outside of us which we think gives a whole new meaning to our life but, that ain't true.

Our meaning to life and happiness is defined by us, our attitude, values, discipline and our own learning quotient.We live everyday and if we have lived that day in true justice, we are happy ! 

I can't put a value to happiness cos, it is priceless and it makes my life worth living every moment with the hope that there are many more to come ! :) 

This is me !

There was a forest with a lot of fruits and vegetables playing around and messing around. As if they belonged together as a family, as friends, as companions and true self to each other.

I saw them holding each other's hands and dancing together. Laughter was all around. Joy was in all words and truth in all areas. Honesty prevailed and they swore to be with each other in happiness and joy.

I saw myself like that smiling and happiness all around. I saw myself holding hands, walking around trees and woods. I saw myself being cuddled, held up, looked deeply inside my eyes and was told "I Love You and you are the best thing that has happened to me". I would have been over-submissive in life but, I feel now is my time. This is me. Here, I am, looking for myself. This is my life. I am living it to the fullest. There are not rights and wrongs. Anything at that particular moment, is right.

I say to every woman I know, Go Girl, Live your life !

Serenity in disguise !

I wish to have peace, silence and quietness in mind. I wish to stop the mind cluttering and listen to my heart. God asks me to stay calm and composed and make the best of what I have.

There is a picture close to me which I look at when I am distressed, worried and low. I close my eyes and see myself in a black and white picture in a stadium full of people. surrounded by crowd, chanting everywhere, cheering for the team. I don't know which country, which city or sport it is. But, seems like a very interesting one. I am smiling without glasses, open hair, straightened teeth and turning around looking in front of the camera, someone very close to me is taking my picture from far and asking me to pose. How I can say this - because there is affection, love and happiness in my eyes. It feels as if picture completes me. Within moments, there are few hands which hold me and grab me in their arms as if we belong to each other. The smiles, happiness in my eyes is what I have been craving for. I wish to see that someday in real. Oh boy ! We went off track to the path of my dreams ..

I wanted to show you a scenery from my mind's eye. The blue water washing my feet, blue skies in front of my eyes, sea gulls flying through those blue skies, cold air breeze running through the water right across me. Everywhere there is peace, silence, calmness and just truth and purity in the nature. It is just me and her talking to each other, she answering all my questions, responding to me as if the mother taking the baby in her lap and pampering her. The soothing voice of the water, air and birds makes me feel serenity in disguise !

I love you nature ! I am privileged that you gave me the opportunity to meet you ! I can feel God in you and the answer to my prayers which I was waiting for !

Thank you for everything !

I am !

I am the change
to make the world a better place

I am the love
for the children who wish to have a home someday

I am the brightness
to spread among the people who meet me everyday

I am the soul
who wishes to enrich the society day to day

I am the smile
to spread happiness and joy in the world today

I am the education
to provide rationale to the society

I am trust
for relationships

I am faith
in humanity

I am the belief
to make this world better place

Life

Hello there ! Returned back to writing after a while and phew, that required a lot of motivation .. 

As it is said, beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder. I can relate everything to this phrase. Life is as one looks at it and feels it. I touch it, I experience life. I laugh, I feel life. I get wet in rain, I see the beauty of life. I see kids running around, smiling, giggling, innocence and here my name, I feel alive. 

I have changed, people who remember me from 5 years ago, relate to me now as more mature, philosophical, deep thinker, intellectual and uptight. I was surprised to hear them, have I really changed ? if yes, Why ? Was there something that deep inside I regret or find myself guilty about which pushed me to change my entire personality. 

The honest person that I am, I answered it with affirmation and when I pondered deep inside me, I heard the answer that I hadn't forgiven myself and was punishing, torturing, condemning myself to the demeaning behavior. Reason - I am my biggest critic. I lived my life on my own terms and conditions, daredevil, risk taker and lively but, I changed myself to gain an acceptance in someone's life which apparently didn't work out however, I continued punishing myself by running the story in my head. People moved on, situations changed but, I stood there. Today, I stumbled upon a acquaintance from a strange country and he said what happened to the girl who was 5 years ago, why did you kill her ? 

I just realized that I was hating myself for the things which I did, decisions I took and never thinking it through before jumping right into it. I lost my spontaneity, excitement and zeal for life. I may have lost years to close the struggle happening in my heart and mind, but as they say it is never too late. 

I forgave myself and fell in love with me again. Love yourself, believe yourself and trust your instincts. If you feel something is wrong, it is. If you feel that you need to do something, go ahead and do it. Only person you are answerable to in this world, is yourself. I am sure whoever is reading this, might say in their minds, we told you so !!

Let the world stand against you but, if you have an instinct about something, then go for it ! Life is ridiculously short to fret over anything.. 

If anyone I know is reading this and see me going back to my old ways of criticizing myself then ping me, nudge me or hit me and remind me to return back to myself.